


leave the answer where you found it

by Verbyna



Series: kent parson poems [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Poetry, Stream of Consciousness, oops i did it again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verbyna/pseuds/Verbyna
Summary: i didn’t say it didn’t hurt. / i said it didn’t kill me.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Kent "Parse" Parson/Jack Zimmermann
Series: kent parson poems [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1118973
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	leave the answer where you found it

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this to entertain the hellsquad months ago, but it's time to clean out the drafts folder.

i.

i didn’t say it didn’t hurt.  
i said it didn’t kill me. i lived  
to face you at the other end  
of a very long tunnel, all dark,  
my eyes set on you,  
your light pointed elsewhere.  
i broke bones on the way  
to tell you how it was,  
five ribs and a knee and both elbows.  
i swallowed blood. laughed at myself in the dark  
so i wouldn’t call you.  
don’t slide words between my teeth  
and call it conversation.

ii.

it was like this: a darkness.  
everywhere i turned the walls collapsed  
because they were you,  
you get that - the tunnel, the dark,  
you pushed me into it  
and thought you just pushed me away,  
but you didn’t wonder.  
i went into the dark  
& lit it with the headlights of cars i didn’t want  
and waited. put one foot in front of the other.  
thought i was lonely when i was just alone.

iii.

there’s a delay. by the time you hear this  
i finally hate you.  
nothing changed, you perfect victim,  
you saint, you byword.  
except me. i lived.  
i see you, even in the dark.  
i see where you’re not.  
tell me one good thing, i dare you.  
tell me one thing they think  
that i haven’t seen from the other side,  
seen through by now, delayed  
but right. tell me you don’t hate  
that i’m right.

iv.

i love you. that means i know you,  
not like you. i’m not like you.  
tell me again how you won’t let me down.  
let me down one more time  
just to put your hands on me.  
tell me how it should’ve been you  
before you turn and look elsewhere  
for everything i promised and kept.  
look here. look at me.  
i kept it. it was yours  
if you’d let me change anything at all  
or come close with this knowledge.

v.

tell him you love him.  
say it instead of anything he can’t hear  
from your own mouth. he’ll learn.  
does he know there’s no plan  
and he’s part of it? do you spare him  
when he gets close to the wrong words?  
he has something to tell you  
but i won’t give you a hint.  
this is the future. i got myself past  
the after you gave me,  
no free rides on this train.  
you either listen or you’re found out.  
i’ll toss you a wishbone.  
put your back into it. pull.

vi.

it was mine. every victory you wanted  
was mine in broken bones & best guesses,  
in my blood, inside and outside my body,  
and the lessons i learned by chasing you.  
mine by talent, mine by right,  
mine by coming first and making friends  
even if they don’t know me  
the way you knew you could call  
and i would answer.  
leave the answer where you found it.  
walk away softly, give me this  
one thing to fool me again  
that you’re sorry: think about me  
when you tie him to the tracks.  
think about me when he tries to stand up & follow.  
i won your victories to win something.  
the victory is knowing you’re not the prize.

**Author's Note:**

> soundslikepenance on tumblr


End file.
